The End of Prenatal Act 2

30 Rock
Dennis Duffy: "Prenatal vitamins. Yeah, I know what 'prenatal' means. 'Pre-', before; '-natal', ruined."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This pregnancy seems to be progessing faster than the others.  Maybe because I don't have a nursery to nest in or because I don't have any idea where we're going to live when I have this baby?  The plan is to move.  When is the variable.  Maybe while I'm in the hospital recovering and won't have to help pack or move.  :)

I'm wrapping up this second trimester stuff, which is great... but basically means feeling relatively good and not being absolutely miserable are probably coming to an end, as well.  If you can judge by my other pregnancies, that is. 

I will say it again, as I have to anyone who's ever asked me about delivery/labor/pain, I'd MUCH rather go through labor/delivery again 10 times over than relive the last 3 months of my pregnancies. 

Call me crazy, but the {relatively} short lived pain of labor pales when compared with months of little/no sleep, heartburn that you know is dissolving your throat tissue {visual effect: think like a bad syfy movie}, back pain from sporting that giant baby ball on the front of your body {those aren't easy to maneuver and they're HEAVY, people!}, swollen feet/legs/hands/fingers/face, the obnoxious itchy feeling your skin gets as it streeeetches across your boobs and belly, the in general feeling like the grossest/fattest creature that ever existed {and you assfaces who like to mention how big we are or how much you think we ate don't help, fyi, so go choke on something}, the absolute exhaustion of prepping yourself and your house for having a baby {classes, registrations, expensive baby THINGS, childcare, maternity leave, medical decisions, updating everything you've ever signed your name to, etc.}, not to mention the fun side effects of having something pressed against your internal organs.

Why are epidurals not administered 3 months prior to due dates?   

And I'll just skip over the mental trauma of having to thinking about rocketing a PERSON out of your delicate lady parts.  Terms like "vaginal tearing" and "mucus plug" really only need to be used once by your doctor or scary website to have a lasting effect on your psyche.  Knowing,from experience, that my no-no region is going to look and feel like the world's oldest testing facility for nuclear bomb detonation doesn't help calm the nerves.   

But...

I WILL say, it's pretty fun to be able to almost constantly feel baby Durb moving around in there, now.  Gone are the fluttering movements.  Now we're on to jabs and such I can see if I look at my stomach while he's jostling about.  I really would like to be able to see what that kid is doing in there.  Cartwheels?  Dancing gangnam style?  Pinching my insides with his toes? 

I don't know.  But I appreciate it, maybe more so now because I know, without a doubt, it'll be the last time.

That being said, I am still very wary of the third trimester looming on the horizon.